"A lot of people will say that having a crush on someone is an exciting experience - fun, magical, a rush of adrenaline through your veins. But for me, I hate it.
I hate being attracted to people, and even worse, I hate developing a full crush on someone. I hate the way it makes me feel. I get ridiculously paranoid and worried about what I say and how it would affect them. I get so afraid of looking stupid or silly that I’d rather not say anything to them at all. I hate the way they make me feel - the heartpounding and the sickening warmth in my heart. They become my everything. They cross my mind all the time even when I don’t want them to, and I over-analyze everything they say and do which only brings me more disappointment. And most of all, I hate myself for falling for someone. It makes my heart feel so vulnerable."